One my last issue. i got this. I changed it in de config but when restarting the node it adds the file at the bottom of the backend under the sql backend and doesnt follow the sql backend

You have to have the type: sql line in the SQL backend section for it to be read as an sql backend.

Don't make new issues, just respond to the existing one...

You entirely ignored what I said. Your SQL section should look like:

backends:
    sql:
      type: sql
      uri: mysql://{DATABASE_IP}/{DATABASE}
      user: {USERNAME}
      password: {PASSWORD}
      aliases:
        permissions: pex_permissions
        permissions_inheritance: pex_inheritance
        permissions_entity: pex_entity

and later in your config file you should have:

backend: sql