Hay can I use your mod for a mod pack that I am making for me and my friends server because publishing it is the only way to use mods on servers

You sure can! As a quick side note, all mods uploaded to CurseForge can always be used in CurseForge packs, and unless you are planning to reupload only the mod itself to some offshoot site where we can't control what happens with it at all, we're generally fine with it being used elsewhere, as well!