Would be VERY cool if we could have a craftable item that makes it so that a grave drops when we die. The item would be removed OR a charge would be used up (limited charges? could be recharged with right click at cost of hunger?)

Alternatively it'd be nice if we could set only certain players to get a grave when they die. This could be via opt in with a command or maybe admin only command to set it on a player.

I'd agree, a method in which you can earn a gravestone sounds like a good middle ground. Otherwise it's just free and you don't value it.

Would be VERY cool if we could have a craftable item that makes it so that a grave drops when we die.

What do you mean with that?

The idea is that if this item is in your inventory you get a gravestone when you die. Some ideas on how this could work are:

1. A craftable item that is destroyed on death but gives you a gravestone when you die
2. The item isn't destroyed immediately but instead has charges (maybe 10) upon crafting and you lose a charge each death until it's empty
3. The item starts with no charges and needs to be charged by right clicking which causes it to eat an enderpearl or netherite or something else from your inventory to gain charges
4. It's difficult to craft (nether star and netherrite maybe?) but never gets destroyed. Lasts forever? (this one seems boring)

I don't know if this fits into the style of this mod. What would that item be?

It would be anything you want it to be. Maybe like a weird charm or voodoo doll type thing or a little magic coffin or a like a "last will" scroll that says "bury me with my belongings" on it when you read it.

I don't know if this fits into the style of this mod. What would that item be?

Nah, sorry, this really doesn't fit into the style of this mod.
I made this mod so you never lose your items. And having no grave spawn when you don't have a certain item is frustrating for players.

You could make this a config option to avoid frustration for players who want an easier mode. The point here is that some players do NOT want forced graves but want the option for graves. Also worth noting that this would be something no one has done yet and you'd be the first, but i will leave it at that since you closed the issue. Thanks for looking at it :)

Maybe I will add that as an optional feature, but I have a lot to do right now. So don't expect it in the near future.