my wife died and when i try to marry someone else i cant

You may have to talk to a priest and "Divorce Spouse." If there is no priest, I'm not entirely sure what you do. My village hasn't generated a priest yet, so there's not always one available!

Also, are you SURE she's dead? She may be "lost." I lost my spouse one time while trying to travel from one area to another, I forgot to set her home point to the new village and she transported allll the way back to our house when it got dark. I had to go find her, she was too far away for the Whistle to work.

Also, have you tried to use the Whistle to find her?

thanks