this mod doesnt work with anything else and when i try to fix it the problem just gets worse the game either crashes on startup or all the text becomes sqaures and i cannot join any multiplayer or singleplayer worlds (1.20/1.20.1)

Text squares is #1123 , as for the other issues you need to post logs. The mod works fine with other stuff, however Optifine itself is invasive, and the root cause of most of the issues with mods.