When I open the phone, clicking anywhere, right and left, won't do anything. Only esc, which just closes out of it.

Strange! Would it be possible for you to provide the debug log? Otherwise it will be hard for me to investigate.

How do I find the debug log?

It's in the install directory of game. If you are using the vanilla launcher in the default install directory it will be in '%appdata%.minecraft\logs\debug.log'. If you are using a custom launcher you will have to locate where that is installed.