the wiki doesn't mention it and the config doesn't have an option to disable the default tips. my tips aren't showing up, in a resource pack i have a tips.json in assets/your_id/tips

The config file has an option to remove specific tips, or entire tip namespaces. Like blocks and items tips have a namespace ID which looks like namespace:tip_id. All tips added by this mod (the default tips) are in the tips namespace. So adding tips to the removed namespaces option will remove all default tips.

When testing your own tips I would recommend using the ingame debug menu. Go to the mod list and click on the Tips mod entry, then click the Config button. This will bring up a GUI with all loaded tips and have additional information about each one.