my game crashed after I was about to beat a boss and I reloaded and ran back to my spot and I couldn't pick up my silly lil grave and this boss healed back all his hp mi going crazy. by chance is there any way I could get my things back without cheating?

Without cheating? No I don't think so. Without picking every item back from creative mode? I hope so. Depends on why the crash happened. I would be really happy if you could send your crash log in return for this info.
If the grave successfully backed itself up before the crash, you should be able to view it if you run /yigd grave. This will bring up a list of all your previous/current graves. Clicking one will open up a view of what it contained (you can go back from this to the previous view with backspace key I think). When you find the correct grave, if you are a server operator there should be a few buttons on the side. One of these is a "restore-button". Clicking that should restore your items.

I hope this will work out for you. Also please do send your crash report so I can perhaps avoid this issue in the future