i just bought a server on nitrado and i've had many failed attemps to direct join the server. I matched the server version and the version I am playing on but it still says out of date.

This isn't really enough info to be able to help with. Do you have any logs that show the login attempt? If so, I would put them on gist.github then link them here. I'm not even sure of what version(s) of the modpack you are trying to work with.