Hail, brave adventurer! Do you long for a warm hearth and sturdy walls? Are you seeking a land to claim as your own? Then set down your rucksack and doff your cap, for lo, your search is at an end! This fine castle is fit for any monarch, and will supply all your needs. Six excellent realms, suitable for those with or without consorts and heirs, a playground, a gymnasium, a pool, a laundry, an indoor (movie) theater, and a tavern (coffee shop). Inquire within.
(Four units intended for families with one to two children, two units intended for singles or couples. Public areas include a coffee shop area, a laundry, an exercise room, a pool, a children's play area, and an indoor movie theater.)
Literally made this like, a week before the castle kit came out. Them's the breaks.